The latest buzz on the internet revolves around a celebrity who boldly stated, and I quote, “Many men find it difficult to be just friends with me; they just want to do something else…I don’t keep many male friends cause many of them don’t want to be just friends with me. They want more…”
This person is self-aware and informed; otherwise, she might have fallen victim to men with hidden agendas.
They disguise their true intentions, pretending to be friends or professing affection when what they truly want is physical intimacy.
Friends with benefits aren’t actually problematic when approached logically.
But what becomes problematic is when the boundaries of the relationship are not defined.
If you intend to be friends, maintain a friendly connection.
If you’re looking for friends with benefits, communicate your intentions clearly to avoid confusion.
Unfortunately, some guys blur these lines to make you ignorant of their motives, which is why you need to be aware of the signs that a guy only wants to be friends with benefits.
But before we go on to tell the signs a guy only wants to be friends with benefits, you need to understand what friends with benefits means.
What is a friends-with-benefits relationship?
Friends with benefits, or FWB for short, is like having a friendly relationship with a little touch of dating thrown in.
It’s when two friends enjoy physical intimacy without any emotional attachments or romantic feelings.
Simply said, FWB is a purely sexual relationship with no commitments or romance involved.
12 Signs He Only Wants To Be Friends With Benefits
1. He keeps your relationship secret
One clear sign that a guy is only interested in a friends-with-benefits arrangement is when he doesn’t want to let others know about your relationship.
As the saying goes, some things, like a cough, are hard to hide, and love is another.
If you claim to love someone, you shouldn’t keep your relationship with them a secret.
In fact, making them known comes naturally and with pride.
Unless, of course, your connection with them is purely for casual benefits without any serious commitment.
2. He introduces you to people as his friend
If he tells you he loves you when you are alone but introduces you as a friend in public, that’s a sign.
A guy who is only interested in a friends-with-benefits situation would be careful with his words about your relationship when talking to others.
He would probably just call you a friend or might not mention any relationship at all, maybe just your name, so that others don’t assume anything more.
This type of behavior shows he’s afraid of letting people know that you’re more than friends, and it could be a sign that you don’t mean much to him beyond a casual fling.
3. He keeps you pending
A friend once told me that her supposed boyfriend replied with “We shall see” when she asked about the future of their relationship.
Guys like this tend to avoid giving straightforward answers.
They prefer to leave your relationship-related questions hanging because they do not have any long-term goals beyond the physical aspect of the relationship.
They won’t want to clarify things, so you don’t end up leaving or committing.
They keep you in a state of uncertainty.
So, if he keeps you waiting for answers or plays the “wait and see” game, it’s a sign that he does not care about your feelings.
He just wants to keep his options open and enjoy the present without any kind of commitment, and hence, this could be a sign that you don’t mean much to him.
4. He’s not interested in getting to know you more
Of course, he is only really interested in the casual benefits of intimacy, so why would he want to learn more about you beyond that?
He is not really curious about your goals or ambitions; that’s pushing it too much.
The more he tries to get to know you on a deeper level, the more complicated it becomes.
Guys like this prefer not to ask questions that lead to more questions.
They’d rather leave those questions for others to ponder.
At the end of the day, if he is not interested in getting to know you better, this can be a sign that he doesn’t really care about your feelings.
He’s just out for what he can get and won’t take the time to invest in something that could mean more than just a casual fling.
5. He only calls you to hook up
He mostly calls you to meet up for intimate encounters, not to check in on you.
The lack of emotional connection means that he has no intention of developing a real relationship with you.
This is not a sign of a healthy relationship, and it’s best to move away from it before any further damage is done.
If he’s only calling for physical reasons, this should be a red flag that his intentions aren’t pure.
He likely doesn’t care for you as a person and only sees you as an object.
Even when he does check-in, his conversations feel superficial.
He doesn’t want you to rely on him for emotional support.
He’s not interested in getting to know you better or taking the time to understand your perspective on things.
This isn’t a sign that he cares about you; it’s just an indication that he wants something from you and doesn’t want to put any effort into the relationship.
If this is what your interactions are like, then it is obvious why he is with you.
6. He has another girl
Have you noticed he’s got another girl in his life?
This could be a sign that he is just using you.
He might not even tell you about her, or if he does, it will usually be in the form of an excuse.
Maybe he’ll say she’s “just a friend” or that they’re “not serious”.
Either way, it should raise alarm bells for you and make you question why this person isn’t fully committing to you.
If he is indeed seeing someone else, then it’s safe to assume that he has no intention of taking your relationship further and is just using you for his own selfish needs.
7. He doesn’t talk about his personal life
In the same way, he’s not really interested in learning about you; he doesn’t want you to know too much about him, either.
That’s why he tends to keep his personal life private.
Even when he does open up about it, he usually talks about his past sexual experiences and abilities.
He often steers conversations about his personal life toward topics related to sex and women.
If he’s not sharing his personal life with you, it could be a sign that he’s not looking for anything serious.
He doesn’t want to invest in the relationship and is just using it for sex or company.
8. He has little or no interest in knowing your people
This guy sees knowing your people as similar to a marriage introduction, and he’s not into it.
He believes that whatever you two have going on should stay between you both.
If you ask him if he wants to meet your family or friends, he will kindly turn down the offer.
He might even tell you that he’s not looking for anything serious and would prefer to keep things casual.
He doesn’t want to involve his family and friends or yours.
For him, physical intimacy is something just for the two of you, and he has no interest in getting to know your friends or family.
9. He might be offering you money after meetups
A guy who is only interested in a friends-with-benefits setup views your relationship like a business deal.
He might give you money every time you meet to ease his guilt, thinking he’s compensating you for the physical aspect of the relationship.
This money is his way of trying to justify “using” you without feeling guilty.
He doesn’t care about getting to know you as a person, and he is only interested in the physical connection.
It’s best to avoid this kind of guy altogether. He does not respect you, and he will never truly care for you as an actual partner would.
10. He doesn’t honor invites
Respecting your invitations worries him.
He’s suspicious it might be a trap.
As mentioned before, he’s just not into meeting your friends and family.
So, every invitation seems like it could lead to that.
He’ll come up with all sorts of reasons not to attend any event you invite him to, especially your birthday.
The fear of being introduced as your boyfriend keeps him away from any party you plan.
11. He won’t agree to make the relationship serious
A straightforward way to figure out if he’s only interested in a friends-with-benefits situation is to ask him to be more serious.
If he’s only interested in a casual thing, it won’t be the type of relationship you are looking for.
He won’t make any effort to actually commit and will avoid talking about taking your relationship to the next level.
A real partner should want to advance with you in life and build something meaningful together.
But if he’s not willing to actually make it work, then he’s not the right guy for you.
However, if he starts making excuses or avoids the conversation altogether, then you know he’s not interested in anything more than a casual relationship.
He’ll also message you less often and might even start to distance himself from you.
To avoid any surprises, talk about your expectations early on in the relationship so that there are no misunderstandings down the line.
I prefer this approach because you won’t have to search for other signs.
12. Your instinct is telling you
When a relationship makes you feel confused, that’s a clear sign something’s not right.
Love doesn’t bring doubt, you would know.
Your instincts can often sense when things are off.
So, if you feel uneasy or uncertain about the relationship, then it’s better to trust your gut and take action.
They’ll guide you to notice these warning signs.
Some guys are really skilled and confident when it comes to this.
They can convince you to believe anything.
You just need to be clever and cautious not to be fooled by their tricks.
But if you also want a Friends with Benefits (FWB) status, that’s perfectly okay.
Just have a conversation with them and be true to yourself.
It’s totally acceptable.