Jane hadn’t quite grasped the situation.
It took nearly seven months into her relationship before she sensed something missing.
When she opened up to me about her concerns, it became clear she felt her boyfriend was taking advantage of her.
To be honest, after hearing her out, I concluded that she was being taken for granted because she was practically begging for love.
What I find fascinating about human instincts is that gut feeling when things are off.
Begging for love can stem from various reasons.
For instance, someone who grew up with little love might resort to begging for it in a relationship.
Another person, reeling from heartbreak, might be desperate to find a new lover just to make their ex jealous.
Even feeling left out because friends have partners while they don’t can lead someone to beg for love once they find someone.
The list goes on.
However, people often mistake begging for love for loving hard, and they’re different.
The danger lies in being taken for granted or overwhelming the other person.
Jane faced the first danger, prompting her to seek advice.
These signs can be tricky to spot because, as they say, love is blind.
But I’m here to help you see.
9 Evident Signs You Are Begging For Love
1. You have no boundaries
Boundaries in a romantic relationship refer to the limits between two individuals that must be respected.
Both partners should feel comfortable expressing their needs and feelings but also respect the needs and feelings of the other.
They should both have space to do their own things without feeling guilty or needing to explain themselves while still being considerate of each other’s time and interests.
But when your boundaries have been repeatedly disrespected to the point where they’ve practically disappeared, your partner may start to feel taken advantage of or neglected in the relationship.
Your partner feels entitled to ask anything of you at any time, disregarding your priorities.
Meanwhile, they don’t reciprocate the same grace towards you.
Take Jane’s situation, for instance, when her boyfriend went through her phone, questioning her conversations without any regard for her feelings.
Where’s the boundary in that relationship?
Your partner can invade your phone, but you can’t even glance at theirs.
It’s not okay to invade anyone’s privacy, even in a romantic relationship.
If your boundaries are nonexistent, and you’re tolerating it, it might suggest you’re begging for love.
2. You are not respected, and you don’t mind
I came across this story on social media about a woman who got woken up in the middle of the night by her partner after a tiring day at work just to cook for him.
It’s not just about the lack of respect for her need for sleep, it goes deeper.
This guy doesn’t seem to care about her overall well-being, both mentally and physically.
She goes along with it because she’s in love, but it’s really unfair to her.
She deserves more respect, and it’s a tough situation for her self-esteem.
3. You are always available
This one’s a subtle distinction.
There is a difference between being always there and being always available.
Let me explain.
Being always there means emotional support, a shoulder to cry on.
Being always available?
Being always available means offering physical and mental labor at the expense of your well-being.
It’s painfully draining when you’re expected to be available 24/7 because it takes away from your own needs or time to recharge.
Love is not an excuse for one person to take advantage of another, so make sure that mutual respect and compromise are in the equation.
That’s a broader commitment, like being there for things that are unnecessary, things that don’t even make sense.
Your availability all the time is shouting that you are begging for love.
4. You don’t have a say
There is this song they sing in Nigerian churches, which I’d like to rephrase to fit this context.
“Who has the final say? Your partner has the final say.”
You’ve charted your course and made decisions, but once you inform your partner about them, and without a solid reason, they turn your plans around.
No questions asked; you just roll with it.
This isn’t just about joint decisions.
It’s about your personal choices too.
What you believe is right for you takes a backseat to their opinion.
God gave you a brain for a reason, to think for yourself.
Even if someone thinks you should do things differently, they should consult, not command.
5. You are too clingy
Because you fear losing your partner, you find yourself constantly wanting to be close to them.
When they’re apart, especially with others, you feel uneasy.
Even among your own friends, insecurity creeps in without their presence.
The constant need to know their whereabouts leads to video calls, unintentionally signaling a lack of trust.
It’s important to know that these behaviors may convey a lack of personal space and respect.
Clinging too tightly might inadvertently communicate an act of begging for love.
6. You always want to talk
We all have those times when we just crave some alone time and peace and quiet.
But, you see, the thing is, you’re a chatterbox, even when silence is golden.
It’s like you think your partner’s quiet moments mean trouble in paradise.
So, you start yapping away, not realizing it’s disrupting their chill moments.
Not everything revolves around you, but your begging for love seems to paint a different picture.
Sometimes you need to ease up a bit.
7. You celebrate their achievements when they don’t celebrate you
Ever heard the saying, ‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander’?
Well, in your case, it seems like only the goose is getting the celebration memo, and the gander’s left in the dust.
Oddly enough, the gander’s cool with it, probably terrified of losing the goose’s love.
Celebrating your partner is awesome, no doubt.
But it’s a mutual thing, you cheer for them, and they cheer for you, big or small victories.
The annoying part is you’re the perpetual cheerleader, but the applause isn’t coming your way.
You brush it off, make excuses for them, and avoid rocking the boat.
Your wins should matter too.
8. You post about them on social media when they don’t
We’re living in a digital era, and social media has added a new way to express love.
Nowadays, you’ll find lovers sharing their special moments online everywhere you look – from marriage proposals and cooking together to dance routines, TikTok challenges, heartfelt birthday messages, and love appraisals.
Posting about your relationship online isn’t just about showing off.
It’s a way to celebrate your love openly.
It’s understandable if your lover is not a fan of posting things online.
But, if your partner avoids posting about you while actively sharing other aspects of their life, it might indicate they’re not fully embracing the love in your relationship.
And not seeing any big deal about it means you might be begging for love.
9. You don’t have freedom
We’re all in a world where freedom rocks.
Everyone’s got those basic human rights, even in relationships.
Think life, liberty, voicing your thoughts, getting an education, and more – all fair game.
No one should miss out on these rights, no matter who they are.
But your partner shouldn’t be putting the squeeze on your freedom.
If they’re making you second guess yourself or acting like the dictator of your relationship, it’s time to have a serious talk and assess if this is something that can be fixed.
If you can’t speak your mind anytime or go out with friends without a nod from your partner, it’s not cool.
That’s not love, it’s more like you’re begging for scraps.
Some people talk about relationships needing sacrifices, but let’s reason about those so-called ‘sacrifices.’
Are they really sacrifices, or just bending over backward to please someone at your own expense?
Your happiness and well-being are top priorities.
You’ve got every right to give and receive love.
May the one you love bring that love right back to you.