Why Did My Husband Marry Me If He Didn’t Love Me? – 10 Likely Reasons

The truth is, not everyone gets married for love, men and women alike.

People get married for different reasons and purposes.

The internet is crawling with many stories of deadlocked marriages and unfortunate stories.

This is not to say that there are no good, thriving, and happy marriages out there.

However, the increased divorce rate in the world leaves us with many unanswered questions.

If you are a woman seeking answers, you are welcome to read.

Today, we will explore why some husbands marry their wives when they don’t love them.

This is in a bid to answer the question in the heart of women trapped and enduring their marriages, “Why did my husband marry me if he didn’t love me?”

 

Why Did My Husband Marry Me If He Didn’t Love Me? – 10 Likely Reasons

1. Societal pressures

Why did my husband marry me if he didn't love me

There are many voices in the world, each telling you what to do or what not to do.

Sometimes, the will of people gets drowned in the throng of these voices as they dance to the tune of the loudest voice.

One such voice is the society.

There are fundamental societal expectations that affect how people live or the choices they make.

For instance, in Nigeria, when a child is born, he grows up, starts school early, and goes through nursery, primary, and secondary schools.

After secondary school, he pursues admission to a university, after which he goes to serve at NYSC, gets a good job, and settles down.

A man who has finished school and is now working will not be left alone until he decides to get married.

This is because, by societal standards, marriage is seen as the next thing for him.

A man with a weak will may fall for these pressures and get married to any good woman they can find.

They only married her to comply with societal standards and not because he loves her.

 

2. Societal prestige 

Very similar to point one, some societies view marriage as a big achievement and accord a lot of honor to married people.

A man living in such a society may decide to get married for the honor that comes with it.

It is all about the motives.

Since love was never the intent,  the marriage may face a myriad of issues.

However, I have also heard rare stories of couples who started this way but ended up falling in love with each other. 

In any case, it is best to start the foundation of any building, right?

The building in this analogy is marriage.

In my opinion, social prestige is a flimsy reason to get married.

 

3. For financial gains

Why Did My Husband Marry Me If He Didn't Love Me?

Money is still said to be the root of all evil, so I am not surprised.

Some men get hooked on women who have the big bucks and can pay the bills.

Sometimes, it is because her family is rich, and he wants to gain an advantage in his personal life and business.

If his biggest goal is to be rich at all costs, he wouldn’t mind marrying a woman who will make his dreams come true.

In his mind, “Who love Epp?” (Nigerian slang meaning – What’s the value of love?).

 

4. Family expectations

Some men get married to satisfy the desires of their parents or family.

Some parents and grandparents might expect you to marry to ensure a steady stream of grandkids for them to dote on.

They’re all about “carrying their grandchildren.”

Most traditional families fall into this category.

Especially if he is from a family that is big on having many children to carry on your name.

The motivation here for getting married is procreation and having children who will bear the family name and continue their lineage.

 

5. Family obligations

Why did my husband marry me if he didn't love me

For most politicians and royals, it is through marriage they build strong alliances and strengthen business and political bonds. 

Usually, love is a missing factor in this equation as these families are specific in their marital quest.

Every family member is, therefore, obligated to marry for the family name.

You’ve probably seen this play out in movies, and it happens for real.

Many such marriages are arranged.

 

6. Peer pressure

Why did my husband marry me if he didn't love me

Some men tie the knot just because their friends are all married.

It’s not about love for these guys; they just want a wife to fit in and not feel left out.

Peer pressure, even for adults, is a thing!

 

7. He doesn’t care about love

Well, some men don’t believe in love, nor do they care about it.

Marriage to them is a decision that shouldn’t be based on just feelings.

You can’t blame these men because some have never felt or been in love before.

Such personal philosophies about love may be why your husband married you even though he doesn’t love you.

 

8. He was dutybound

Maybe your initial relationship led to pregnancy out of wedlock, and your husband felt duty-bound to marry you.

I once read the story of a lady who got pregnant for her boyfriend and wanted an abortion, but he stood against it.

The guy who had been dragging his feet about marriage all the while suddenly felt duty bound to the child in her womb.

He married her but didn’t love her.

Theirs was a purely physical relationship, but the dynamics of their relationship changed with the baby’s coming.

By the way, I am not recommending that you rope a guy into marriage with a child; it will not end well.

 

9. He needed a homemaker

Why did he marry you without loving you?

Maybe he actually loves you… 

He loves that you are hardworking, supportive, a great homemaker, a beauty, and a delight in bed.

Many men are satisfied with having a woman who checks all the boxes and is sure to meet their needs.

 

10. To avoid loneliness

Why did my husband marry me if he didn't love me

One of the reasons people get married is companionship.

Also, one reason people get married to people they don’t love is the fear of loneliness.

Driven by fear, they decide to settle for the available when the preferable is unavailable.

I believe this is a lame reason for getting married, and no one wants to be used selfishly.

This issue of loneliness is deep because even older people advise that singles should get married quickly before life happens and they are all left alone by themselves.

 

Enduring an excruciatingly painful marriage that is loveless is a lot!

It is a terrible shoe no one prays to wear.

In the meantime, I want to encourage you to find your happiness independent of your husband if he grieves you.

Get involved in good causes and community service and create new hobbies.

Hang out with friends and laugh!

I wish you the best!

 

Leave a comment