5 Reasons Why Husbands Hate Their Wives

“If you love somebody

Only to find say you no love them again

And the fire wey dey burn don quench

You no feel am again” – Brymo (Patience and Goodluck)

Let me translate that into proper English.

“If you love somebody but then discover that you no longer love them, and the once burning fire has now extinguished, you can’t feel it anymore.”

Brymo, the soulful Nigerian singer, has a way with words that I absolutely admire.

His songwriting, especially in this track titled ‘Patience and Goodluck,’ prompts deep reflections on life and reality.

Now, this is it.

I’ve always had this nagging question about marriage, something that Brymo echoes in this song, “why do husbands seem to hate their wives?”

Back in the day, I bought into the fairy tales of living happily ever after.

Fast forward to now, being married is a different ball game.

The romantic cooking sessions, frisky pillow fights, and playful banter take on a new perspective.

Marriage isn’t as simple as those animated films make it out to be.

How do you go from someone whose smile was a soothing balm to your soul to becoming a source of pain?

The person you once loved without a reason is now someone you’re avoiding.

It defies logic, but everything happens for a reason.

As it is said in the Good Book, “As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, So the curse causeless shall not come.”

In this blog post, let’s dig into 5 reasons why husbands might find themselves harboring negative feelings toward their wives.

Without further ado…

5 Reasons Why Husbands Hate Their Wives

1. The wife doesn’t trust his leadership anymore

Why do husbands hate their wives

Nobody enjoys having their power or position taken away.

It’s the same thing as robbing them of strength.

If a wife starts disagreeing with her husband’s judgments or no longer respects his decisions, it can sow resentment in his heart.

He might not be consciously aware of it, but the feeling is there. 

And this comes with the theory of radical feminists.

Modern radical feminists challenge traditional gender roles in marriages, going beyond equality to seek leadership roles.

In truth, both roles are important, with neither being greater than the other. 

But, when a wife begins assuming the leadership role traditionally held by the husband, it’s like a political coup, leading to marital unrest.

It is natural for the husband, feeling undermined, to develop resentment.


2. The feeling of being controlled


Some women love telling their husbands what to do all the time, especially when they make a small mistake.

The words that come out of her mouth in those moments can make the man frustrated.

For instance, a woman said to her husband, “You are a man, and yet you can’t handle this small thing.”

Imagine being in the husband’s shoes at that point.

We all mess up, so give him some space to make mistakes and learn from them.

Constantly controlling him might make him feel like he has no say in his own life.

When he feels smothered, it’s like he’s losing control over his own decisions.

Imagine how a slave might feel towards their master.

Warning him, pointing out every error, and trying to control him can turn his love into resentment.

Remember, if you’re taking away his sense of masculinity, you might also be taking away his love for you.


3. Withdrawal of sex


Believe it or not, some women use withholding sex as a way to punish their husbands.

Crazy, right?

I mean, regular and predictable sex can already be somehow dull for a guy, so imagine when there’s zero action.

When was the last time you had a really good time in bed with your hubby?

A week or a whole year ago?

It is called intimacy for a reason, and it’s what brings you and your man closer.

Without it, there’s a gap between you two.

Sex is like the ultimate language.

It’s both spoken and unspoken, spiritual and physical.

It’s a stress reliever, too.

So, when you skip the bedroom activities, your guy gets all wound up and won’t enjoy your company as much.

The therapeutic power of sex is real, and its absence can make a guy start disliking his wife.

Men are big fans of sex, and it’s crazy how quickly it can turn a nice guy into a nagging one.

Spice up the bedroom once in a while.

It is healthy.


4. The feeling of being left out

Why do husbands hate their wives

This often happens, especially when kids enter the picture.

Some women get caught up focusing on their children, and it leaves their husbands feeling neglected.

I’ve seen a case where the woman even moved to the children’s room.

In some cases, career-driven women might let their homes slip by the wayside.

They just place their career at the forefront, having very little time for their hubbies.

When you’re trying to give attention to someone who’s not reciprocating, it just makes sense to let it go.

But, when that person is living under the same roof, resentment can start knocking on the door of your heart.


5. Nagging

Why do husbands hate their wives

In the Good Book, Proverbs 21:9 puts it like this: “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

This sheds light on why some guys start feeling resentment towards their wives.

Guys crave peace just as much as they do intimacy, it’s a package deal.

You can’t fully enjoy the fun in intimacy if your mind is a battlefield.

Nagging is a peace thief.

We’ve heard of those guys who’d rather chill at a bar till late just to avoid the complaints at home.

People love those who bring good vibes to their environment.

Let’s think of this for example, imagine coming home to a wife whose voice is a stress-relieving melody after a tough day.

On the other side, think of coming home to a woman whose voice adds fuel to your stress, it’s like going from the frying pan to the fryer.

Some women seem to thrive on drama, turning every little thing into a complaint.

Loving someone like that is not the easiest task, you know?


After everything is said and done, we’ve seen that there’s usually a reason why a husband might start hating his wife.

It’s not always sudden.

It often happens over time.

And you know what?

It’s not always the wife’s fault.

Some of the things we talked about can also be because of the husband.

I mean, maybe the husband is the reason the wife is nagging all the time.

She probably didn’t start out that way.

What I’m trying to say is, let love be your guide.

When you think back to the beginning, love was like the director of your relationship.

It could fix anything.

Sure, it might take some intentional effort now but try to rediscover that love.

Remember, when you had love, you had everything.

Love is like the main law in marriage, it covers all the bases.

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