When we talk about respect in relationships, we often zero in on what women want from men.
And that’s valid based on the societal shift we see around these days.
But let’s not ignore the other side of the coin because men respect women too, and it’s not just by words, but by action.
A man’s love for a woman is rarely complete without respect.
He may be physically attracted, emotionally drawn, or even obsessed, but if there’s no respect in the mix, the relationship will eventually break down.
Respect is what cements attraction into admiration.
It’s what turns an instant interest into a long-term commitment.
And certain traits make a woman impossible to overlook in this regard.
Guys Only Respect Women Who Do These 7 Things
1. She Respects Herself First
How do you teach a man to respect you when you do not respect yourself?
You cannot give what you do not have, nor can you build something on nothing.
You cannot teach a man to respect you if you do not constantly treat yourself right.
You don’t have to announce it or shout it.
How you respect yourself reflects in your carriage, tolerance, and boundaries you unapologetically set for yourself.
You can’t constantly overstretch yourself, for people who wouldn’t move an inch for you, for people who didn’t move an inch for you but expect a man to move mountains for you.
You don’t stay in places where you have to remind people of your worth constantly.
You want a man to respect you? Start by refusing to disrespect yourself to keep him.
2. She Doesn’t Beg to Be Chosen
I saw a movie last night where the lead actress was narrating how she sent a love note to her crush, and she humiliated her for it over the years.
Now, that is an extreme case, and you not begging to be chosen is not in terms of you making the first move on a man.
No.
It is mainly about what you do after you are in the relationship.
You do too much!
You’re the first to text in the morning, you show up at lunch, send closing hour gifts, and follow up with dinner suggestions for when he gets home.
You do all this for a man who is still testing the waters and doesn’t even know what to do in the relationship.
You are literally auditioning for the best spot in his life.
Stop doing this and stop embarrassing yourself.
Love should be mutual and not one-sided, and your presence should be a privilege at this point.
Men don’t respect women who are always “available” no matter how they’re treated.
There’s a kind of emotional detachment that makes a man take you more seriously than a thousand declarations of love.
3. She Has Standards (and Keeps Them)
My husband told me at some point that he didn’t ask me out when we were friends because he did not want to mess up with the standard of life I had set out for myself.
That hit me differently and also made me proud of the woman that I was before he met me.
Having standards is not about having a long list of what a man should do or what he should not be.
It is about the values that you live by and how strong you will stand by them even when emotions are likely to get in the way.
I live by a mantra, which is: “Even if I don’t know what I want. I very well know what I do not want, and this leaves me with a mirror of options of what is likely good for me.”
Having standards makes you a grounded and consistent woman who has her life in balance.
When you say you did not tolerate dishonesty, it means you do not want it, even if the man before you looks like your dream man.
Men may test boundaries, but they respect the ones who actually have them.
4. She Listens Without Losing Her Voice
A respectable woman knows that listening is a superpower.
She listens, yes.
But she doesn’t shrink.
That is what forms the foundation of her relationships.
To become that woman, you should pay attention to the man’s fears, dreams, and thoughts.
I’m not saying you should forget yours or become an unpaid therapist.
Give space for his emotions and do not try to bottle up things to keep the peace. It doesn’t ever end up well.
A man will feel very easy and much more confident to talk to you because he knows that you will always listen.
5. She Doesn’t Embarrass Him Publicly or Privately
When I was planning my wedding, I had a vendors meeting with my husband, and something happened that made me feel bad.
I shouted at my husband in the presence of the vendors because I was getting agitated and anxious.
I felt so bad for days, and I kept apologizing over and over again because this is very unlike me.
Now, if my husband had resorted to returning my shouty gesture, I am sure it would have been embarrassing for both of us to date.
A man will respect you when he knows that you will never embarrass him, no matter the tension, pain, disappointment, or anger you feel.
He knows that, either in public or private, you’d choose grace and dignity in resolving your issues.
When you have something to say, you say it directly and maturely.
And that is the energy that earns respect.
6. She Has a Life Outside of Him
I mentioned earlier in this post that my husband didn’t ask me out because of the standards I set for myself.
Part of those standards was never losing my individuality.
Trust me, there is something very irresistible about a woman who is already full.
This is the woman whose joy does not begin and end with a man.
She has her own dreams, friendships, creative outlets, weekend plans, and a sense of purpose that lights her up.
And you cannot want a man to respect you if you are not this woman.
Of course, this does not mean that you are emotionally unavailable to your man.
It is simply that you are not emotionally dependent on him.
A woman with a life is not needy. She’s not desperate for his attention 24/7.
And funnily enough, this makes you more attractive and respected because he knows you’re not just looking for a savior or a fairytale.
He knows you’re building your own table, and you’re simply willing to make room for someone who brings peace.
7. She’s Emotionally Disciplined
This might be the most powerful trait of all.
A respectable woman doesn’t scream at every trigger.
You don’t have to throw insults or roll in mental dirt because you are hurt.
Life doesn’t go in one direction, and you should be prepared for every wave that comes with it.
You do not have to manipulate with silence or crumble in rage anytime something goes out of hand.
You should learn to balance things up by responding and not reacting.
You might argue that reaction is also a response, like I will typically do, but that is still you (and me) reacting.
Processing things and having it together doesn’t mean you do not feel things deeply; it is just you being in control of your emotions.
Men respect this level of discipline deeply. Because they know they’re not walking on eggshells.
They know they’re dealing with a woman and not a tantrum machine.