You’ve been friends with this guy for a while now,
And you both seem to be getting along pretty well.
He ticks your boxes, and you already imagine how he will ask you to be his girlfriend.
But alas, he’s not saying anything.
You’ve tried sending a green signal to him, but he’s not forthcoming.
Well, he could only see you as a friend and nothing more.
Being friend-zoned when you want a full-blown romantic affair can be painful.
There are seven reasons why you keep getting friend-zoned by a guy
7 Reasons You Keep Getting Friendzoned By A Guy
1. He’s not interested in you
Men know what they want is not a cliche.
When a man is interested in a woman, he ensures to express his feelings.
If you’re sure this guy is single, and you’ve stylishly sent him signals that you’re interested, yet, he isn’t making any move to take it further; it could mean he’s not interested.
He only wants to keep you as a friend. He enjoys the connection you both share.
I know that there’s a possibility to keep wondering if there’s something wrong with you and why he doesn’t seem interested, but you don’t need to be hard on yourself.
Yeah. It could be a difficult pill to swallow.
However, you may need to accept that this guy isn’t into you.
2. He’s in a relationship
If you’re being friend-zoned by your friend, he could be in a relationship.
And, of course, you wouldn’t expect him to leave his girlfriend for you.
Once you know he’s committed to someone; you should disconnect from him emotionally.
This could take some time, but you’re free to take your time.
That someone doesn’t see you as a spec doesn’t mean another person isn’t looking forward to having you in their lives.
3. Fear of losing the friendship
As a rule, some guys don’t go into relationships with their female friends.
They consider what they share ‘sacred’ and don’t want anything to tamper with it.
They are afraid that they might end up losing the friendship they share.
Sometimes, switching from being friends to lovers may seem awkward.
And really, the initial friendship should help people to get along as lovers, but it doesn’t always happen.
If your friend falls into this category, this might be why he has friend zoned you.
Probably, he has seen people who transited from friends to lovers, but in the end, the relationship didn’t work out, and the friendship was lost as well.
Sadly, you might not be able to make him change his mind.
You may have to move on without him.
4. He’s not ready
Your guy might friendzone you because he’s not ready for a romantic affair.
Some guys are calculative about their decisions, especially regarding love matters.
They want to put certain things in place.
They don’t like going into a relationship out of necessity.
And with some, nothing can make them reconsider their stance, especially if they have personal issues they need to sort out.
For instance, if your friend is going through a tough time in his finances or finding it difficult to get a job, going into a relationship may be the last thing on his mind.
You can’t fault him, though.
He has his reasons, and while he might not hold water in your ears, it’s still his decision.
You may have to embrace the reality, whether to wait for him or forget about him.
If you decide to wait for him, you must be sure he’s also into you as much as you’re into him.
It’s necessary to ascertain this so that you don’t get to waste your precious time.
5. Past experiences
Some guys haven’t been lucky when it comes to relationships.
They’ve had to go through numerous heartbreaks from their girlfriends and decided to give a relationship a break.
Hence, they have decided to jealously guard their hearts jealously and not allow themselves to love a woman because of fear.
They build an impenetrable wall around themselves.
And when they observe a lady trying to signal interest, they refuse to reciprocate.
Yeah. You might be saying in your mind that you’re different and you won’t do that to him.
But well, he might have heard enough of those words, but in the end, it still didn’t work out.
Your intentions might be pure, but if he does not have it, you can’t force it.
And if you can talk him into the relationship, you may end up dating yourself because he hasn’t gotten over the past trauma.
6. You’re not his spec.
Someone close to me once asked this question on a platform, ‘’Are you your spec’s spec?’’.
The question got me thinking. It should do the same to you as well.
Spec is a short form for specification.
You must have heard people say, ‘he’s a great guy, but he’s not my spec’, ‘She’s beautiful, but she’s not my spec’.
Everyone has qualities in terms of stature, complexion, etc., that they are looking forward to seeing in the person they want to go into a relationship.
And they won’t settle until they get what they want.
Your friend seems to be your spec, and you’ve come to love him.
But have you ever asked yourself if you’re his spec?
This could be the reason why he’s friend-zoning you.
He might enjoy your company as his friend but can’t bring himself out with you.
Let me assure you that nothing is wrong with you. It’s just his choice.
You’re also someone else’s spec, and in some time, you will meet that man who will sweep you off your feet.
7. Incompatibility in values
I met a guy some time ago.
We were getting along pretty well and went on a date once.
During our conversations, I guess he discovered that our values don’t align.
Deep down, I immediately knew the relationship wouldn’t work.
After that evening, he never pressed to deepen the friendship, and we just remained casual friends.
Values are essential factors to consider in relationships.
When values aren’t aligned, there could be a clash of interests.
So, a guy might friendzone you because he has observed that your values don’t align.
Your feelings are valid.
I understand that you want something different from what he is offering.
But you only have power over your decision, not his.
Hence, you can’t force him into making this crucial decision.
And it would help if you didn’t allow the thoughts of not being good enough to drown you.
Remember, some man somewhere is dying to have you in his life.