Marriage is a union created for companionship between a man and his wife.
It affords both parties to know each other on a deeper level.
There’s joy in knowing that you have someone you’re doing life with.
Someone you can be vulnerable with without fear.
You’re sure they have your interest at heart and have your back all the time.
This is one of the things that makes marriage beautiful.
Love and respect are essential ingredients for a healthy marriage.
When a man respectfully communicates his thoughts and opinion to his wife, it makes her feel loved.
And when a man respects his wife, there are certain utterances he shouldn’t make, no matter how angry he might be.
7 Things a Married Man Should Never Say to His Wife
1. “I wish I never married you.”
This is a statement that is filled with regret.
It is powerful enough to destroy a marriage.
Marriage though beautiful, has its ups and down.
Whoever said marriage is a walk in the park lied.
It’s a long journey. Yes! It is.
And really, self-control is an important virtue every man should possess.
Some issues could arise in a marriage that could make us sometimes doubt if we married the right person.
When you’re angry with your wife because of what she did or didn’t do, it’s better not to utter statements that could destroy your home.
If your wife is taking detrimental steps to you and the home, it’s better to speak to her about it or go for counselling.
Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right.
If you tell your wife you wished you never married her during an argument, those words can live rent-free in her head forever.
Even when you apologise, she might find it difficult to let go.
So, it’s essential to weigh the words you speak when you’re angry.
2. “I don’t love you anymore.”
Amidst the array of women we have in the world, you met her and desired to be her husband till death do you part.
No one forced you. Yeah?
And really, no one should force an adult about their marriage choices.
And now, you’re saying you don’t love her anymore?
How did you get here?
Have you thought about the damage this is going to do to her?
You sure wouldn’t expect a woman you don’t have a love for to stay with you.
Oh yeah! She might decide to leave.
Sometimes in marriage, love can be lost, and this can be due to different reasons such as unmet expectations, frequent misunderstandings etc.
However, it’s important to note that when these issues happen, we attack them and not the individual.
If you feel the love between you and your wife is dwindling, you can bring back the spark by doing things differently.
3. “See how fat you’ve become.”
This statement reeks of insensitivity.
Women are generally touchy when it comes to their stature.
When you make careless statements about their outlook, it affects them negatively.
As her husband, you should know better, and not to hurt her in this regard.
Childbearing, stress, depression, and fertility issues could make a woman gain weight.
If you feel that your wife is gaining weight more than you wish, there’s a way you can let her know lovingly.
She’s your wife, and you should know how to “get her”.
When you both are in a “lovey-dovey” atmosphere, you could find a way to talk about it and, more importantly, show her that you’re in this together.
You could register in the gym together or even volunteer to do some indoor exercises together.
A woman is happy when she knows she’s not alone.
4. “You’re just like your mother.”
This is the height of disrespect for your wife and her family.
Probably you got into an argument with your wife, and out of anger, you made such a statement.
Bro, you’ve crossed the line.
You wouldn’t have said that if not that your wife has said some not-too-good things about her mother to you, and you just seized that opportunity to use that information against her.
You shouldn’t use the things she told you in confidence about her family against her when you are angry.
When people are in love; they sometimes want to say everything, “the good, the bad, and the ugly in their family”.
However, what you do with that information shows how mature you are.
As a mature and wise man, such utterances shouldn’t be made, no matter the depth of hurt.
5. “You’re a terrible cook.”
Cooking has to be one of the most stressful chores in the home for some.
To some women, they cook because it’s necessary and not out of love for cooking.
Cooking for hours and eating everything in a few minutes is not a luxury.
Now imagine your wife putting so much effort into making food ready, and all you get to say is, “You’re a terrible cook”?.
This isn’t good at all.
You’ve successfully rendered her efforts meaningless.
If you feel the meal is not done correctly, you should at least appreciate her efforts and gently comment on things she should do better next time.
We should consider our partner’s feelings whenever we want to say or do things.
6. “It’s none of your business”.
Openness and honesty are essential ingredients of a healthy marriage.
Marriage is a union where the two parties involved are expected to lay everything bare. This is vulnerability at its peak.
When your wife seeks details about certain things, and you tell her off, it’s pretty disrespectful.
And it could also come off as being secretive.
I understand that sometimes you could be in a “not so good” mood and are unwilling to have that conversation.
You could say it more politely.
“Can we have this conversation later, please?” would be a better way to say it.
When she hears this, she will understand that even though my husband doesn’t want to talk about this yet, he will eventually tell me.
7. “What have you been doing all day?”
Probably you got home, and found the house a little messy, you could be tempted to ask her what she has been doing all day.
However, asking her such a question is insensitive.
Do you know why? You have no idea of the many things she had to fix between the time you left home and the time you got back.
You could ask her, “How did your day go?”
It shows you care to know what happened during the day, and she will be happy that you care enough to ask.
And of course, she in turn, will explain how she had to mop, clean, cook, and tend to the baby all by herself.
Empathy and understanding are crucial to having a blissful home.
Words are powerful.
They leave indelible marks on us, which is more reason why we should be careful of what we say and how we tell them.
As a loving man who seeks a lifelong relationship with his wife, you should avoid speaking words that could damage the woman you care about.